Have you ever stop yourself from doing something you really wanted to do because you knew that you would get bored halfway or find it too troublesome after some time? Well I have... many a times. Even writing this entry had me thinking and reconsidering numerous times as I was afraid that I might just find it too much a hassle to pen down all my thoughts...
I know I can excel in doing something once I put in my 100 percent into it. I will finish something once I start it. But certain things will not achieve results within my lifetime. And not being able to see results straight away and therefore getting dejected is one of my many weaknesses... I admit.
After returning from Australia, I was fortunate enough to work for an MNC for the past 2 years till present. Life had been pretty easy and good though I feel I had not achieved much, career aside. Upon some reflection, I came up with my 4 major milestones which are to be completed within the next 4 years for myself. Sadly, even with these reasonably well defined goals in place, I felt something was still missing, something was still wrong about the place. Ever since coming back, it did not feel the same. Could it be I am still regretting my decision to come back?... I asked myself this teething question time to time.
It was not long before I started to widen my scope in all areas of my life. I start to observe more, start to read more, start to listen to people more. Soon, I came to realize that the Singapore that I had left behind 5 years ago is no longer the same place. Somewhere along the line, things changed... people changed. I wanted to find out more. Gathering information from main stream media as well as alternative media such as Temasek Review has stirred up something in me... something which I was never ever interested in before. I begin to be more involved (eg. my comments as Psi in AsiaSentinel).
Singapore seems to be in a predicament whereby true blue Singaporeans are living in discontent. Understandably, there are still a number of them who are still staunch supporters of the current ruling party. According to my observations, they are either:
1. Members affiliated with the ruling party, ie. they get some kind of benefits, mostly monetary in nature.
2. Less informed and tech savvy
3. Civil servants
4. Well to do people
5. Non true blue Singaporeans
6. Very traditional families
I happened to come from group 6. This is one of the main reasons why I failed to convince my folks that I should stay on in Australia. Nonetheless, I came back.
So here I am now, with emotions stirring within me. I wish to do something. I want to change something. To help not just myself, but more important, helping the poor, the sick and the old. And of course, the future of the country is largely dependent of its current workforce as well as the nurturing of the young minds. I have this sudden urge to go out there and just start doing something that will help benefit true blue Singaporeans and make this country a better place. More than 50% of young Singaporeans said they want to migrate to another country. I want to change that to less than 5%!
There are much much more issues, views and my personal opinions that I want to share. But I won't. The reason will be given in the later paragraphs.
So now, I wish to make a difference. Here comes the problem. I am nobody! I am a mere digit in this ultra modern and urbanized country. Where do I start? I have no past experiences. All my life I am pursuing the art of Science! And remembering my weakness did not help. What if I felt like giving up halfway when results are not met? THAT SOUNDS SO AARGH! I am so disgusted with myself right now. But then again this path is not easy. A lot is at stake if something goes wrong. I have the people to answer to.
Knowing myself, I decided to remain as the mere digit within the system. Just live out my life like majority of the Singaporeans do. Whining and complaining time to time but never plucking the courage to stand up. I will just go ahead, buy my flat, get married, buy my car and make some babies. Then in the near future, hopefully leaving this dreaded place behind.
I just hate myself sometimes...
I know I can excel in doing something once I put in my 100 percent into it. I will finish something once I start it. But certain things will not achieve results within my lifetime. And not being able to see results straight away and therefore getting dejected is one of my many weaknesses... I admit.
After returning from Australia, I was fortunate enough to work for an MNC for the past 2 years till present. Life had been pretty easy and good though I feel I had not achieved much, career aside. Upon some reflection, I came up with my 4 major milestones which are to be completed within the next 4 years for myself. Sadly, even with these reasonably well defined goals in place, I felt something was still missing, something was still wrong about the place. Ever since coming back, it did not feel the same. Could it be I am still regretting my decision to come back?... I asked myself this teething question time to time.
It was not long before I started to widen my scope in all areas of my life. I start to observe more, start to read more, start to listen to people more. Soon, I came to realize that the Singapore that I had left behind 5 years ago is no longer the same place. Somewhere along the line, things changed... people changed. I wanted to find out more. Gathering information from main stream media as well as alternative media such as Temasek Review has stirred up something in me... something which I was never ever interested in before. I begin to be more involved (eg. my comments as Psi in AsiaSentinel).
Singapore seems to be in a predicament whereby true blue Singaporeans are living in discontent. Understandably, there are still a number of them who are still staunch supporters of the current ruling party. According to my observations, they are either:
1. Members affiliated with the ruling party, ie. they get some kind of benefits, mostly monetary in nature.
2. Less informed and tech savvy
3. Civil servants
4. Well to do people
5. Non true blue Singaporeans
6. Very traditional families
I happened to come from group 6. This is one of the main reasons why I failed to convince my folks that I should stay on in Australia. Nonetheless, I came back.
So here I am now, with emotions stirring within me. I wish to do something. I want to change something. To help not just myself, but more important, helping the poor, the sick and the old. And of course, the future of the country is largely dependent of its current workforce as well as the nurturing of the young minds. I have this sudden urge to go out there and just start doing something that will help benefit true blue Singaporeans and make this country a better place. More than 50% of young Singaporeans said they want to migrate to another country. I want to change that to less than 5%!
There are much much more issues, views and my personal opinions that I want to share. But I won't. The reason will be given in the later paragraphs.
So now, I wish to make a difference. Here comes the problem. I am nobody! I am a mere digit in this ultra modern and urbanized country. Where do I start? I have no past experiences. All my life I am pursuing the art of Science! And remembering my weakness did not help. What if I felt like giving up halfway when results are not met? THAT SOUNDS SO AARGH! I am so disgusted with myself right now. But then again this path is not easy. A lot is at stake if something goes wrong. I have the people to answer to.
Knowing myself, I decided to remain as the mere digit within the system. Just live out my life like majority of the Singaporeans do. Whining and complaining time to time but never plucking the courage to stand up. I will just go ahead, buy my flat, get married, buy my car and make some babies. Then in the near future, hopefully leaving this dreaded place behind.
I just hate myself sometimes...
