Back in Australia, I tried to look on the bright side, thinking of all the little things which will make my return back to Singapore a slightly happier one. Now that I am back in Singapore, it just gets harder and harder.
Firstly, the crowd. They suffocate me. I feel so saturated. The weather here did not help much either. There are people everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE! There must be no less than 5 person within my 10 meter radius at ANY one time! Either they block your path or you block theirs'.
Secondly, one which I knew would happen, is the 'noisiness' of my home. Every single day there are issues for debate and argument amongst the family. Not a moment of peace and privacy. Totally different from my life in Australia.
Thirdly, my siblings starts comparing themselves with me, expecting equal rights and freedom even though they are several years younger; even though they had already enjoyed all the advantages of being a younger sibling. Such comparisons of what's fair and what's not really pisses me off. If the world is fair, I wouldn't even need to listen to all these shit. This would not have happened if I just remained firm and choose to stay on in Australia to pursuit my future despite my parents' expressed reluctance. If I did not come back, they have none to compare with, which means no arguments, I get to have my peace and quiet.
However, sadly, I am not the kind of person who could say 'No' to my parents to pursuit my own selfish ambitions. They sacrificed a lot for me to have the opportunity to study overseas and I am very grateful for that. Coming back is a small thing I can do if that is what makes them happy.
Of course there were several other things which made me regret my weakness and lack of determination to stay on. But I don't want to sound too ranty. Hopefully all these dissatisfactions will end together with this blog entry.
I should be glad that at such times, I still have the support of my special someone. Hmmm... Perhaps thats the reason I choose to come back.
Firstly, the crowd. They suffocate me. I feel so saturated. The weather here did not help much either. There are people everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE! There must be no less than 5 person within my 10 meter radius at ANY one time! Either they block your path or you block theirs'.
Secondly, one which I knew would happen, is the 'noisiness' of my home. Every single day there are issues for debate and argument amongst the family. Not a moment of peace and privacy. Totally different from my life in Australia.
Thirdly, my siblings starts comparing themselves with me, expecting equal rights and freedom even though they are several years younger; even though they had already enjoyed all the advantages of being a younger sibling. Such comparisons of what's fair and what's not really pisses me off. If the world is fair, I wouldn't even need to listen to all these shit. This would not have happened if I just remained firm and choose to stay on in Australia to pursuit my future despite my parents' expressed reluctance. If I did not come back, they have none to compare with, which means no arguments, I get to have my peace and quiet.
However, sadly, I am not the kind of person who could say 'No' to my parents to pursuit my own selfish ambitions. They sacrificed a lot for me to have the opportunity to study overseas and I am very grateful for that. Coming back is a small thing I can do if that is what makes them happy.
Of course there were several other things which made me regret my weakness and lack of determination to stay on. But I don't want to sound too ranty. Hopefully all these dissatisfactions will end together with this blog entry.
I should be glad that at such times, I still have the support of my special someone. Hmmm... Perhaps thats the reason I choose to come back.
2 comments:
Because I want you to...
Never regret with your decision. Otherwise you will feel terrible. Always be happy. That will really helps.
Post a Comment